Smith Kids MSU Tailgate

Smith Kids MSU Tailgate
Dominica, Veronica, Rebel and Miranda

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Relax Vern relax

I had good intentions.  I really did.  I had the detailed plan that would allow me to read, write, run and relax my way through the year.  Well so far I have only been partly successful.  I have been doing great with the first three items on my list.  The relaxing, however, has been a dismal failure (so far anyways).  I really should have expected this since I have a hard time sitting still for more than five minutes, but for some reason I thought it would just happen. What I have learned is that relaxation doesn't just happen. You have to make relaxation happen; just like a workout, training for a marathon or any other lofty goal, relaxing is hard work.

Tonight I decided to get serious about this whole relaxing thing.  Enough of this pussy footing around; I was gonna RELAX.  And I needed it.  I had spent all day chasing kids (my own and my sister's) around the FFA 100 Year Celebration in Fremont.  Prior to that I supervised a visit to my grand parent's house.  This is always interesting and proved to be just that.  Among other things it involved a small dog chasing balls all over the house, a seriously impressive block fortress, a highly detailed lumber yard production operation and a fist fight.  Just kidding, but it did at one point actually involve my son punching my Grandma; it was not that hard, but still I was mortified.  At about four, I decided I had had enough and I needed to head home to relax. We hit the road once the van was loaded and the kids enticed into the van with treats.  Bribery is a beautiful thing!

I then headed home with every intention of relaxing as soon as I got there only to have my eldest child start puking all over the van about ten minutes from home.  Why couldn't the puking have started eleven minutes later when we were home?  This of course warranted a thorough cleaning of our van and two loads of laundry, a decontamination bath and cooking of Chicken Noodle Soup.  Thank goodness for Campbells and Lysol.

Once things settled down, my mind of course returned to thoughts of soaking in my jetted bath tub after a quick run which I needed to do solely for the purpose of preserving the streak.  Had it not been day 49, I totally would have dismissed the possibility of a run.  Anyhow, as soon as the kids were tucked in, I ran about two miles through the snow with Stan and headed home to my tub.  Relaxing was sure to follow.  I did fill it with piping hot water and sat in it for about a half an hour with the jets on high before I decided to go all out and actually shave my legs! 

When I got out I realized that even relaxing doesn't come free.  My tub was a mess from all the leg hairs.  I then spent several minutes in various awkward positions trying to cleanse and dry the tub and its surrounding area.  Given the amount of acrobatic maneuvers required to properly clean my tub, I really felt like cleaning it was just another workout.  It resembled yoga.  And I was still naked at the time.  Wrapped hastily in a towel, but naked nonetheless.  What I really need is a young Latino to be my tub boy.  That would be really cool; and that would really help to improve my relaxing goal for the year.  I did have every intention to keep on relaxing until Kara just woke up with a night terror and now I am helping to soothe her while I try to type one handed.  And she just started puking again.  I better go.  I have too much to do tonight.  Looks like any further relaxing will have to wait until later.  Relaxation is not in the cards for me tonight after all.  At least I tried.

Vern Out

No comments:

Post a Comment