Why do I always feel like I made a bad decision, or the wrong choice. And why is it so difficult for me to choose in the first place? On the rare occasion that I go out to eat, I always deliberate for a long time about what to order and then inevitably once the order is finally placed I find myself thinking, "I should've ordered the steak instead". Why do I do that? And more importantly, why can't I stop? Anyhow what got me thinking about this in the first place is the new book I am reading, Until the Real Thing Comes Along. I am only a few pages into it, but the author raises this intriguing question in the opening pages about playing a game called house. Here's how it works: You go on a drive and you can select any house you see to be yours. The only catch is that once you choose, you can't change your mind. She claims she is able to choose and not regret her decision later if a better house comes along. I am certain I could not. I would probably just never choose one. But if I actually did make a choice, I would most certainly regret it later. Either that or I would drive on forever looking for the right house for me and never make a selection. Well once this idea was injected into my mind, my brain can think of little else.
First of all, I think options are a good thing, but I also think that the number of choices nowadays is a little absurd. I am in favor of choices, just not so many. Just walk into any paint store and look at the ridiculous number of color options available as standard colors and you will realize this is true. Talk about overpopulation; there is definitely an overpopulations of options in today's world. Junk food is another prime example. There are so many different forms of chips and snacks in general that you could spend an entire weekend just checking them out at Meijer.
A far as making decisions goes, I do the same thing when I go shopping as I do at a restaurant. I take a lot of time picking out new shoes or jeans and once I actually buy the new ones, I immediately second guess myself and wish that I had chosen differently. It is going the same with the new house. I spend countless hours looking at even more countless options in paint color, carpeting, countertops or tile and I really scrutinize my decisions and once I make a decision I am left immediately wondering if I have chosen wisely. This has to stop or I many never sleep well again. And thank goodness I have good books to keep me company at night because Jeff certainly does not. He sleeps like a newborn baby, sound and hard. And he never seems to question his choices. I don't really want to be like him; he is too opinionated and stubborn and contrarty to his beliefs, he is not always right. But still maybe being a little more decisive would be good for me.
I shouldn't say I never make a decision I love or stand behind. Or that I always make bad decisions. Any therapists could tell you that always and never are bad words to use, but rarely. I rarely make decisions without doubt. When I decided to run a marathon, I never doubted it or thought I should've never signed up. I was committed. With NOTV I was the same way. I never second guessed it. I am loving life without television that is one decision that I didn't immediately doubt. I knew right away that giving up television was a good thing for our family. The confidence in the NOTV deal is as rock solid now as it was the night I dreamed it up. Now if only I could find the same peace and steadfast belief in my choice of wall color in the new house then life would be good and I would be sleeping better. Of course if that were true I wouldn't be working on my 27th book of the year!